Veteran Nollywood actress Dupe Jayesimi has shared her deeply personal journey with childlessness and its impact on her life.
In a recent interview on the Talk2B podcast, the 61-year-old actress opened up about the emotional struggles she has faced. Jayesimi revealed that she married on October 22, 1988, and was pregnant at the time, but tragically lost the baby weeks after their wedding. She went on to share that despite numerous attempts to conceive, she faced repeated challenges, which ultimately strained her marriage.
She recalled how her ex-husband’s frequent absences during critical moments made their efforts to have a child even more difficult. This emotional distance, she explained, played a significant role in the breakdown of their marriage. After they separated, she discovered that her ex-husband’s girlfriend, who was pregnant, moved into his apartment just two weeks later, which left Jayesimi feeling deeply depressed. She turned to alcohol as a means of coping during this time.
“I got married on October 22, 1988. I had been practicing theatre, and the person I married knew about it at the time and was not upset. However, his job required him to be available for two weeks and then unavailable for the next two weeks. In our marriage, we did not have a child, although I entered the marriage pregnant. I lost the pregnancy weeks into the wedding. Since then, we have done a lot of tests. At one point, I was told they would perform a procedure where they would open me up, and if my husband had intercourse with me, I would become pregnant. We went ahead with the procedure, but my husband did not show up until three months later.
When he returned, I became angry. He asked why I was angry and said I should have moved out if I was tired of the marriage. By then, we were already five years into the marriage. There were rumors that my life was in danger, so I had to leave.
Two weeks after I left the marriage, he brought in another woman who was pregnant. The situation left me so depressed that I started drinking alcohol at the time,” Jayesimi explained.
She also shared her experience of meeting an older man, with whom she had a brief relationship. Together, they attempted IVF twice, but both attempts were unsuccessful. While she had considered adoption, her mother opposed the idea, expressing strong disapproval.
“I had initially decided that I would not get married again until I met an Alhaji who was like a father to me. I wished I had met him before my failed marriage. We tried IVF twice, but it did not work.
When I was about 40, I got pregnant but didn’t know it at the time. I used to feel pain in my abdomen and went to the hospital for tests and scans. I was told I was pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy. After the procedure, I have not been able to get pregnant since.
I left the marriage with the Alhaji when his first wife started having issues with him. I considered adoption, but my mother said she would kill any child I adopted. I left Alhaji about 15 years ago.”
Despite the challenges, Jayesimi emphasized that she does not dwell on her childlessness. She expressed gratitude for her career and the children she has helped raise, though she acknowledged the pain of not having her own biological children. She shared a story about her niece, whom she had raised, only to be rejected when her niece’s mother told her she was not allowed to sit in a certain place at her niece’s wedding, reminding her that she was just an aunt, not a mother.
“When I think about the things I have done—the children I have raised, hoping they would take care of me, but they did not—I am grateful that God blessed me with this job. So, I do not dwell on these things, and I will not. The only thing I want now is to have a child I can take everywhere, one that people will associate with my name. If I had been away from my parents for long, I would have adopted a child,” she said, maintaining her hope and resilience.
